(01)A Note From My 100-Year-Old Self

It's never too late. Every day counts!

Let's face the facts...

Memento Mori - remember death! These are important words. If we kept in mind that we could die soon, our lives would be completely different. If a person knows that he will die in a half-hour, he will certainly not bother about doing trivial, stupid, or, especially, bad things during this half-hour. Perhaps you have half a century before you die. What makes this any different from the half-hour? ~ Leo Tolstoy

Classical Greek scholars were well versed in this concept of Memento Mori. Major religions, art, philosophy, literature, music have also presented this idea to us down through the ages.

Then in the 21st century, science tells us that life expectancy is improving and we are living longer than ever so we seem to have pushed death to one side to live 'the good life’. However much we might ignore it, the mortality rate remains a steady 100%.

Any regrets lurking? Any Cats in the Cradle?

Harry Chapin spelt it out so eloquently.

He's grown up just like me. My boy is just like me... When you comin home son. I don't know when, but we'll get together then, Dad. We're gonna have a good time then. ~ Harry Chapin

In addition, recent research conducted by palliative nurse Bronnie Ware recorded the realisations of the dying in the last 12 weeks of life. She shared these in a blog which eventually became a book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

The most common regret of the dying was the wish they'd had the courage to live an authentic life instead of the one expected by others.

Even though I am not on my deathbed, regret has plagued me over the years. I would lament these life regrets in many a conversation with my sister. I wish I had applied myself more diligently at high school. I wish I had done my degree straight after school instead of after a divorce while single-parenting 2 small children. I wish I had known who I was, what really mattered to me.

However, at some point, you realise that there is only now, and it's never too late. I am alive. I am 65 years old. The days count. No, Every Day Counts!

A death bed is too late, a mid-life crisis, not so late yet?

COVID has stirred and swirled around all of us

Before COVID, it was easy to think that we had relative control over our circumstances. We set big goals and went after them, made money, bought stuff and then bought some more stuff. We were going to live forever.

If there's anything we have learned over the past 2 years of COVID is that we are not in control. COVID has shaken us to the core of our being. Even if COVID didn't affect us personally with illness or family tragedy it left many of us languishing in a state of not actually depressed but not thriving. We feel like we've been bounced around in the washing machine of life.

While it might have stopped us in our tracks, forced us back to our homes, cut us off from loved ones' hugs, it has also given us space to breathe, to re-assess our lives, and to make some potentially different choices. Who are we as individuals, and what matters to us individually and collectively?

Then, how do we crawl out of the whirlpool to build stabilising anchors in our lives? Deliberate Living is the key.

What is Deliberate Living?

Deliberate living is intentional living. It's living with purpose. It's not letting life just pass you by. It's the opposite of going with the flow. Deliberate living, as imperfect as it is, is the process that moves us from being a victim of circumstance to making conscious choices in our lives.

Imagine, for a minute, you have already left this world and you are looking down on your family, friends, and fellow citizens. What would allow you to bask in a sense of personal fulfilment, a feeling that you made a difference, that you left a legacy?

As I see it, you can approach deliberate living from 2 perspectives

1. Top-down: Develop a big WHY based on what matters to you in this post-COVID world, a fearless vision and mission and build the daily habits to support that vision.

Simon Sinek explains the WHY question in his third most-watched TED talk of all time from 2007.

It's always about something bigger than ourselves,

According to Sinek, what we do and how we do it drive happiness but WHY we do it is the sustaining juice that drives fulfilment.

I am reminded of the story Hal Elrod of The Miracle Morning book series, who has become an expert at skirting death, tells. When he looked at his values to determine what mattered to him, it was his family but when he examined his activities it didn't reflect that value so he re-organised his life with actions that spoke to that value.

How many of us say that family is everything but our actions are incongruent with that statement? Cats in the Cradle?

2. Bottom-up: Start small and work from the ground up. Build anchor points.

• Why am I getting out of bed today?

• What really matters to me today?

• What baby steps can I take, what habits can I build into my day to build a streak on the way to a new me.

• Make agreements with yourself, keep them, make every day count.

• Become true to yourself.

Demonstrate that authenticity, then help others, who are watching your example and want to know, embark on their journey.

How I am building a deliberate life way past 100

If the top regret of the dying is not living an authentic life, I want to cut that one off right now.

Who am I and who am I going to be?

I'm an accountant. I understand numbers, assets, liabilities and net worth.

As I age, I know that health, fitness and well-being comprise my primary asset. Health minus aging is my physical net worth and I measure that with a daily Heart Rate Variability (HRV) reading. (More on that in coming issues).

I have made a commitment to a 120+ fit, healthy and authentic life to be an example of what's possible. If that inspires people to journey with me, then great.

Will I make the goal? I'm not sure.

The words of Jim Rohn allow me to set bold, audacious goals:

The purpose of a goal is not to reach the goal. The purpose of a goal is to become the type of person who can achieve any goal, by always giving it everything you have regardless of the results. It's who you become through the process that matters more than actually reaching any one goal. ~ Jim Rohn

My vision and mission are built on some core beliefs:

• Deliberate Living happens one day at a time.

• The rest of my life is simply a series of days, each of which starts with a morning.

• If a morning is done well, there is a fair chance, but not certainty, that it will be a good day, a good week, a good month and ultimately a vital, useful life.

• I don't have to know everything before I start. I just keep moving and I will figure it out.

Inspiration has come from some wonderful people in my life.

Over the past few years, I have watched my son-in-law Steve commit to a health and fitness regime to overcome a health challenge. He rides a Peloton bike like a demon, does TRX and eats for maximum health every day, no matter what! Nothing gets in the way of this routine. He lives deliberately, has taken control of his health challenge, and is in mighty fine shape as he approaches the half-hundred.

I remember asking him one morning before I made a transition to a similar regime: Why do you do it? His reply: Because it feels so damn good. That stopped me in my tracks. I had never enjoyed exercise. I can now tell you that he's absolutely right.

#feels-so-good #feel-good-about-myself

Can't stop, won't stop ~ James Clear

To Age with Attitude is to make a decision to live a little bolder.

It's about knowing your health and fitness numbers and maximising them to be in the best physical shape you can. Then it's about using that energy to drive a passion, build a legacy, whatever that is for you, and bask in the pride of a job well done on your deathbed.

If I can inspire one person to add life to their life I will be fulfilling my WHY.

Memento Mori might be a fact but I love the words of Simon Sinek:

Live as if there is no finish line.