Pause and Reflect

A 50-Year High School Graduating Class Reunion: How Did That Happen?

If only - the two saddest words in the world

- Mercedes Lackey

What better time to pause and reflect on life than a major milestone event like a big birthday or a 50-year reunion of a high school Senior graduating class?

Fifty years is a long time. When I sat my Senior exams in country Queensland 50 years ago, I wasn’t thinking about what life would be like a half-century in the future. My thoughts were centred on escaping the tiny outback town for the bright city lights a 4-hour drive away.

Preparing for a school reunion sees you drag dusty boxes from an attic or garage, pull precious mementos out, collect your thoughts and reminisce. You suddenly look up and the day has gone and the living room is strewn with memorabilia.

As I read my high school reports, I wonder...

How did I go from Dux of primary school to barely passing my High School Senior exams? My ability and potential didn't change in those 5 high school years. Then that feeling of being so lost returns. Who was I? It was all so confusing.

I Imagine...

What if I'd made a conscious decision to aim for Dux of High School? Would that have made a difference, given me an anchor?

What if I'd had a mentor through my high school years, someone who recognised my potential, filled the gaps in my learning, cheered me on or picked me up, dusted me off and pushed me back into the thick of it again?

In my imagination, I did achieve Dux of my high school thanks to my exceptional mentor. I might not have had many friends or understood how to interact with people easily as I watched my fellow students relate, but this nerdy teenager's besties were Bronte, Woolf, and Austen, having long graduated from Enid Blyton. English literature soothes me and connects me with my ancestry, the country of my convict forefather, banished for stealing a law book, arriving in Australia on the first fleet in 1778. I long for the return trip six generations later.

A scholarship to study law at Sydney University awaits this nervous country girl. Oh, the wild and heady 1970s at one of Australia's premier law schools, living the history of political dynamite like the Oz trials and the Whitlam sacking. I force myself to cultivate acquaintances so I can debate the merits of current cases.

A Rhodes scholarship to Oxford to complete a PhD follows a few years into my law career. This is my chance to go 'home', to experience first-hand the culture of my Anglo-Saxon forbears, which has so captured my heart through literature for all these years.

I love the Oxford fusion of intellectual stimulation imported by students from all corners of the globe as much as the silence of the Bodleian library where I sit and allow history to soak into my soul. I buy myself a pushbike with a basket on the front, de rigueur transport to get around the city or take a long ride along the canal path. I love spending long Summer afternoons by the river, under the shade of an oak tree with only a blanket, picnic and a novel for company.

Post Oxford, I decide England and specifically London is where I want to live and work. After a very long and exhaustive process, I find myself at Doughty St Chambers, set up by Australian barrister, author and academic Geoffrey Robertson. If you are going to imagine, you may as well aim high.

Home is a flat in Bloomsbury, with romantic notions of former times when the Bloomsbury Group of writers, intellectuals and artists lived and loved here. It's within walking distance of chambers and the courts and just large enough to accommodate me, my books and my cat. No car required.

Having imagined this amazing life for myself, I have to ask: Would my career as a human rights lawyer have dominated my life? Would I have published unique work? Would I have felt fulfilled by my work?

Would I have married, or had children? Or am I sitting in my now upgraded to 3 bedroom Bloomsbury flat, accomplished but alone except for my cat and my beloved books?

Would it have been everything I dreamed of?

The Reality...

After school, I left my country town for the bright lights and worked instead of going to University.

Before I knew it I was married and 2 children followed. Unfortunately divorce came soon after.

I set off for university, but not my imagined law degree. I burnt those bridges with a poor HSC performance. I settle for a full-time Accounting degree and life as a single mother.

A career in Sydney Banking follows; accounting melding into IT. I worked on projects to implement financial systems to replace outdated manual systems, helping thousands of people grapple with new technology.

I have another tilt at a law degree with Barrister's Admission Board in Sydney but abandon it mid-way through. Work, single parenting and demanding study took a toll, regret still lingering.

A Masters of Commerce degree later in life satisfies my passion for learning. Every new semester starts with anticipatory tingles as I open materials for the first time before diving in. At least I prove to myself that I can perform at a High Distinction level. But, still disappointed with what might have been.

A PhD was considered and reluctantly decided against.

Life pushes dreams of lawyer life aside, but my passion for learning, English literature, history and law never leaves me.

Despite everything, life has been full but challenging: successful businesses, travel, long months exploring my beloved England; amazing children and grandchildren who I cannot imagine life without.

With a whiff of regret for what might have been.

Fast Forward...

Fifty years forward from my Senior year, my granddaughter is sitting her final high school exams right this minute and planning a commerce/law degree next year.

Let me tell you about this remarkable young woman. As a pre-schooler, she would arrive at my house and head straight for my office, climb into the big chair and set out her work; paper, textas, drink bottle and spend hours happily producing 'work'. Through primary school, she would still set up her desk but now I was required to set maths problems for her to work on. Her self-motivated, smart, disciplined spirit was always there. The family moved 2,000 km away, but with the help of technology, I was able to stay connected.

Early high school and her feisty attitude was still evident. After one exam she confided in me, only half-jokingly: 'Grandma, I got a B+. That can not happen again!'

Our face time calls extended from her telling me what was going on in her life to discussing English texts. Well before she started on each text, I was hard at work studying it in depth, which I loved.

The Secret River by Kate Grenville allowed us to dig into our family convict history. We discussed interesting many legal and social issues raised by the author.

She told me she would never have chosen to read Jane Eyre, but the quality of our deep conversations on Feminism, Class and other such issues surprised us both and brought me immense joy.

We poured over Legal Studies essays looking for ways to better express thoughts. We reworked sentences and I nudged her language towards a more legal mode of expression.

Unfortunately, Specialist Maths, Maths Methods and Chemistry were left to tutors. They were long gone from my aging brain.

So, in a few weeks, she will leave her country town in the rearview mirror for a 17-hour drive to the same big city I headed to 50 years ago but this time so much better prepared than I was to face the world.

As I watch her prepare for the next stage of her academic life, I feel immense satisfaction that I got to be the person in her life that I wanted in my life all those years ago.

And as I contemplate walking beside her through her law degree, the thought of being a part of it fills me with a strong sense of intergenerational purpose and pure delight.

I have to remind myself…

You are Never too old and it's Never too late

but I do have to stay one step ahead!

Wish me luck...